You know how sometimes you’re just watching your favourite show (Mad Men, Sherlock, The Flash, etc.) and suddenly a commercial appears that has the abnormal ability to both interest you and at the same time make you want to shove your head into an active blender?
That’s this Wind Mobile commercial, which you may also have seen on the big screen at movie theatres:
I have so many issues with this ad. But before I get into that, let’s look at a couple of the good things. You know, like a good news-bad news situation.
Good Thing 1:
The song itself is catchy. It’s probably the first thing that really strikes a chord to peak your interest when this thing appears on your tv screen. It has a childish, cute and somewhat silly vibe to it, which fits the commercial perfectly, seeing as how it’s about a family and their adorable little girl.
I mean, just look at those leopard print leggings. D’aww.
Good Thing 2:
The shots of the landscape are gorgeous. Picturesque mountains on a beautiful, slightly cloudy day, with not another car on the road and even a silver lake making a brief appearance in the lower right part of the screen.
This screams fresh air and nature. I just want to inhale deeply every time I see these breathtaking shots and imagine myself climbing to the top of one of those enormous mountains; eventually locating a special flower which I take to a secret ninja training–
Oh wait. Did I just get into Batman again? My bad.
Point is, these images make me think of good things. Thumbs up for that.
So there you have it. The two good things I could find in this commercial. And neither of them had anything to do with the actual product they’re trying to sell. Cool.
Bad Thing 1:
Dude put his phone down right on the console where his kid could easily reach it. And he even left the screen on/unlocked for her viewing pleasure!
You should know better as a parent in 2014.
Bad Thing 2:
This goes right back to one of the things I actually liked about this crappy ad. There is a ten million dollar view right outside this girl’s window and what does she do? She jacks her dad’s phone and starts playing with it!
Look, kid, I know you’re not old enough to appreciate it yet, but there is a world out there that people would pay money to see! Snow capped mountains and silver lakes!
To make it worse, the dang commercial keeps cutting back to these brilliant shots as if to taunt us. It’s basically saying, “Here’s what you should be looking at, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? Yeah … Well, here’s a dumb kid with her head glued to a piece of technology… And see the beauty? See the kid?”
Gah! It drives me nuts!
And it’s pretty obvious this girl knows how to Snapchat with the way she’s using this phone, so at the very least there’s no excuse for her not even snapping a few pics of the great outdoors.
The only thing that would make me appreciate this commercial would be if they were actually doing the back and forth shots of the scenery and the girl using technology on purpose, as a sort of social commentary about how we as as a society need to stop being so wrapped up in our devices and take a look at our gorgeous planet every once in a while.
Wouldn’t that be a great message?
Yeah. And then you remember: this company is trying to sell phones.
Bad Thing 3:
The level of narcissism in this commercial is almost tangible. Like, I feel as if I could pick up that little girl, wring her out and produce quantifiable amounts of narcissist-juice from her tiny body.
Just look at what she does for the entire commercial! At no point is she likable except at the very beginning when you see her leopard print leggings (I like leopards) and little braids and admit that she’s pretty damn cute.
Then what happens?
In order: a) she steals her dad’s phone b) sends a picture of a bike to someone somehow c) dresses up in a couple different accessories and takes selfies d) changes her dad’s relationship status on Facebook to “it’s complicated” e) gives her mom a look that’s so full of sass it makes me want to snap my fingers and let out a snark, “You tell her, girlfriend!”
You see the problematic pattern here?
This girl cares for nothing but herself! And technology, it appears, is a big part of that. What a great notion to throw out there when the product you’re selling is that piece of technology.
“Come buy one of our newest cell phones! It’ll instantly turn your young daughter in a self-absorbed diva who will want to do nothing but take pictures of herself, make fun of you on social media sites and piss off your wife by changing your relationship status on Facebook that really shouldn’t have that much of an impact on your relationship anyhow because YOU’RE ALREADY MARRIED AND HAVE A KID! … By the way, we’re having a sale.”
This ad lays out for us in a painfully blunt manner how horrifying it can be to watch our youngest generations become manipulated and obsessed with technology from a distance. It gives me the creeps.
At least when some new type of tech came out back in the 70s we’d get kids and adults alike walking around and talking into a walkie-talkie or something and saying, “Beam me up, Scottie!” on a consistent basis.
Bad Thing 4:
That mom gets really, really displeased the moment she sees that her husband apparently changed his relationship status to “it’s complicated” on Facebook.
Okay, lady, hang on a second. You’re with him right now. He’s driving. There is no way in heck he could’ve changed his damn Facebook status while driving unless he’s some sort of mutant with the ability to talk to technology like the kid from Heroes!
And since he’s not nearly that cool and resides only as a lifeless character in a 60 second ad, I’m going to say that the chance of him having that ability is a big fat zero. Which means that you can calm the fluff down and think about the situation for a moment.
That’s the first thing.
Secondly. why has she apparently invested so much of herself into this status? The assumption here is that she’s married to this guy and has even gone so far as to have a kid with him (point of no return, woman!), so why would she still have a Facebook relationship status with him in the first place and, more importantly, why does it matter when she has already made some sort of solid connection with him in the real world that is unquestionably worth more than a line of text on a popular website?
This woman has all the makings of a loose canon. She could explode at any moment! Imagine if she hadn’t discovered it was her daughter pulling a prank? Did you see the look of confused terror that popped onto her husband’s face when she asked him the question? He probably thought she was gonna yank on the steering wheel and drive them off-road straight into that lake!
I’m praying for you, brother.
So that’s my take away from this commercial by Wind Mobile. Needless to say, it has not made me want to buy a cell phone from them. It has also caused me to worry about the notion of having kids and imprinting a confirmation of my relationship status on Facebook.
On the other hand, it has made me want to go for a drive somewhere beautiful. But since I’m away at school and don’t have a car at the moment, it loses points for causing me to have feelings I can’t satisfy.
Anywho, that’s about it for tonight’s rant. I haven’t done one in a long while and this commercial has been appearing often enough that it’s forced me to take fingers-to-keys and write something, even if it is during exam season.
Hope your nights and days are prodigious. Stay frosty.