Late Night Rant: Rebecca Black’s “Saturday”

Hey, what’s up everybody?! It’s exam season again (ugh) and so of course this means that everything remotely interesting in life seems to happen around now to try and deter me from my path of learning. 

Today, that something happened to be none other than Rebecca Black’s new music video, “Saturday”. Otherwise known as BAHAHAHAHA.

I’m dedicating tonight’s entire rant to this because it deserves it. It really does. There’s just so much to destr-, I mean talk about!

Yeah, talk about.

So, if you haven’t seen the video, I’ve so very nicely put it below so that you may watch it in its entirety before we begin. 

Made it to the end? Good.

Let’s begin.

Right when the first words were spoken, “Oh my god, I love this song! This is my jam!”, I knew this was gonna be bad. She still sounds like a smurf trapped in a 16-year old’s body.

So then I immediately had to pause the video 15 seconds in because I couldn’t stop laughing at the line, “Trying to get Friday outta my head”. I mean, really?

We’ve all been trying to forget, Rebecca. You’ve understood only too late. 

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FRIDAYS THERE ARE?!

A lot.

There are a ton of references to Friday in this music video. There’s that line about Friday that’s most obvious, but also there’s a scene involving her waking up at a certain time, one involving cereal that has the words, “Gotta have my bowl” written on the actual bowl, one involving her riding in a car with the friends she paid for to be in the video and even one in which she and her friends do some more ridiculous hand gestures.

Don’t remember what I’m talking about? 

Here’s the video to “Friday”.

See? Yeah.

I find it hilarious that right after she wakes up and complains about how it’s 2PM and that she’s trying to remember/forget what happened at the last party, her friends are already back at it and partying in the first cutaway scene.

Niiiiiiice.

Also, does anyone know why they bother driving around to different places? They go to the beach but never actually go in the water and then they randomly go to a skate park because, hell yeah, skater guys are hot.

Right?

I guess that sort of thing is cool when you’re 16. Or 17. Or … How old is this girl anyway?

Rebecca does a bang up job of phoning her dude-friend and telling him to get his butt over to the skate park that he in no way could’ve known they were at. 

Shoulda showed up earlier. What a jerk.

OH WAIT.

He has a legit reason for not showing up to the random skate park: he lost his pants. 

You know, the only reason I can even think of having a guy pants-less for a 2 second shot is to get more girls to watch. But, like, they can get more skin than that watching Justin Bieber’s Instagram videos so … Who knows.

There is an extensive use of sunglasses in a couple scenes as well. And not one of them had to do with CSI Miami, which means that in Josh’s book, they were failures. 

She even wears them inside when she finally arrives at the house where the party’s at. I can only assume it’s because it’s extremely bright in hell. 

There is one redeemable shot in this entire video, though. And that is of Kaleb Nation (an idol of mine), who makes a cameo appearance when Rebecca walks back into the hell-house. He’s the guy with the weird expression on his face on the left-hand side of the screen, next to the girl who looks like she’s from Desperate House-Teens. 

I was really surprised Rebecca even decided to take off the sunglasses while inside at all. I mean, the Christmas lights at the back of the room that were the only clear light source other than the back lightning for the video were sooooo bright. 

Sigh.

The party seems to take place at two locations. In the hell-house and on the beach. 

These kids are everywhere! Do their mothers know where they are? Or are they all pulling Miley Cyrus’ and telling the adults that they are too old for child stuff like skate par- Oops. 

Maybe they just hate Disney?

During the party scenes, there are way too many weird things not to take notice of. But a few would be: the cream-face attacks, Rebecca riding a stuff dinosaur in the middle of the party, and a stoned-looking dude staring right at the camera like, “Duuuuude, we’re getting filmed? Sweeeeeet”.

And to top it all off, they have their own homage to Miley Cyrus right smack dab in the middle of the vid, with a girl who’s dressed in a similar fashion standing in the center of the party and twerking her little butt off. 

I hope that’s not there to try and keep the guys’ interest peaked, because we’ve all seen “Wrecking Ball” and I can never look at a sledgehammer the same way again …

HOLD UP! THERE’S A SILLY STRING FIGHT?! 

Gouda try, Rebecca, but that’s just cheesy. 

Is it just me, or does Rebecca look much different in this video than in her “Friday” debut? I mean sure, she’s older now and her hair style is changed in this one, but something just seems bizarrely different about her. I can’t quite place my tongue on it though. 

Did she gain weight? Has her face rounded out? Has her mere appearance grown so powerful that it induces the same effect as light over-intoxication?

Who knows.

The scene at the end of the video is kinda funny. I do have to give props to that. The guy runs in and starts screaming about Rebecca and everyone is just like, “WTF man?”. I’ll admit that I chuckled.

So that’s about it. Four minutes and eight seconds of pure facepalm. But at least she released it on an actual Saturday, so we know that she’s learning her days of the week. 

Logically, Sunday is the next one to take the fall. Prepare to see a lot more SUNglasses in that video and pray to whatever deity you will that she never actually gets to drive a car in one of these videos. 

That’s all for tonight, folks. 

Stay frosty.

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