Late Night Rant: VMA’s, The Oxford Dictionary and Twerking

I’m officially done work for the summer. Do you know what that means?

More late nights.

You know what that means?!

More of these.

Here’s what’s on tap tonight:

1. VMA’s

Or the Video Music Awards. There were some pretty ridiculous moments at the show this year. I had the privilege of tuning in and seeing the bitter end of Miley Cyrus’ performance. 

If you haven’t seen already, this is what she was wearing:


This isn’t your father’s Hannah Montana…

Besides Miley’s enthusiastic attempt to out-weird Lady Gaga, there were some other key moments that should be highlighted.

Taylor Swift said this:

Will Smith’s family had this reaction at some point:


And Daft Punk was there to present an award but didn’t win the one they should have won (Song of the Summer), which they lost to 1 Direction. 

Ugh, it hurt just typing that…

All in all, a solid show. Macklemore, Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars were a few of the better performers and provided some much needed highlights to fill the audience’s brains with something other than Miley Cyrus. 

Right, Rihanna?


2. Oxford Dictionary

The Oxford Dictionary has just recently added two more words their book. And it pains me/makes me laugh at the mere thought of them.

The words are “Twerk” and “Food Baby”.

Yeah. I know.

So here’s twerk:

“A puny or insignificant person, generally male; a twerp; To twitch or jerk; To move the body in a sexually suggestive twisting fashion.”

And here’s food baby:

“A protruding stomach caused by eating a large quantity of food and supposedly resembling that of a woman in the early stages of pregnancy.”

Do you feel dumber now? 

I think I’m going to try and throw some new slang words out there and see if any catch on. Maybe then I can get into the dictionary too. 


3. Twerking

So Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have just recently teamed up (Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!) to bring the world something that is clearly just being put out so that they’ll gain attention. 

It’s a new song called, you guessed it, “Twerk”.

I highly dislike it. Besides the obvious reasons, it’s not at all catchy like the music Bieber is generally known for and Miley sounds like a twelve-year old girl who sucked in too much helium. 

I can’t believe (or rather, “belieb”) I’m leaving you with this, but here’s the video if you’d like to find out how quickly the Demented Duo takes to make your ears bleed:

That’s all I’ve got for you guys tonight. Great to do one of these again. 

Stay frosty.


Movie Review: Kick-Ass 2

The posters themselves could give seizures...
The posters themselves could give seizures…

First rule of going to see a movie like this: don’t trust the ratings system. 

When I walked to the theatre with my friends to grab tickets early, the sign outside the theatre and the rating on the ticket I bought said that Kick-Ass 2 was rated 14A. 

This is obviously laughable if you have any idea whatsoever of what the graphic novel-inspired flick is about.

I watched the original Kick-Ass about a week prior to viewing the sequel and enjoyed it much, much more than I thought I would. Before seeing it, I never had any deep desire to seek it out, knowing what little information I did about it; that it was some sort of twisted and colourful superhero parody and that the plot couldn’t be that much more complex than Kick-Ass’ costume.

IMPORTANT INFO: I have never read the graphic novels, so my opinions are solely based on the films.

I was somewhat incorrect about the first Kick-Ass. Yes, there was an extreme and unnecessary amount of swearing, there was a small bit of nudity and a fair bit (although not even close to Kill Bill level) of gore. 

But the story impressed me more than I thought it would and the characters actually were memorable. It was something new that I’d never really seen done before. The concept, “can a normal person be a superhero”, has been brought up before, but never done in quite so a way as in Kick-Ass

Also, the story is clearly aimed at teenage-early adult audiences and although crude, is disturbingly accurate in terms of how people of that age talk and act.

Anyways, moving on to the film at hand now.

Kick-Ass 2 brought back a much more jacked Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and a much older Hit-Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz), as well as Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who’s changed his name (as he makes the swift and inevitable change from hero to villain) to something I cannot risk typing out in this review for fear of some child’s mother reading it and calling me up saying, “My daughter/son reads all of these! How DARE you write such a- blah, blah, blah”. 

Stupid lawsuits.

This flick had everything the first movie had that made it unique: ordinary people dressing up as heroes, colourful costumes, swearing, blood, lame jokes, serious content and stuff that just made you sit there with your mouth open, thinking, “Did they really just say that?”.

The thing that really set Kick-Ass 2 apart from the original for me was the fact that this one had more serious content than the first. I also think that the actors had gotten a little better at their jobs; certainly Hit-Girl. 

The movie actually made you feel attached and hurt when some of the major characters were lost. It showed a different side of the main characters as well. Kick-Ass was more grown up in this movie, and a little darker than he was in the first. 

Hit-Girl, too, showed a different side of herself; letting vulnerability take over at one point and having to try and deal with her life as a teenage girl.

Altogether, the serious and emotionally enticing scenes were what made the movie worth seeing even more so than the awesome fight scenes and smart-mouthed characters.

Personally, I wanted to see Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl succeed much more so than in the first film, because I felt more attached to them in the second go round.

Oh, and how can I forget?! You can never go wrong with a movie that has Jim Carrey in it. He played Colonel Stars and Stripes and was one of the more intriguing characters in the movie. He also looks a lot older now, like, a lot older, so thankfully I didn’t keep seeing him in my mind’s eye as Ace Ventura. 

I know there’s a funny joke I can make somewhere here about him being in both a movie about superheroes where he plays a hero and a movie about a mask where he wears a mask but … I just can’t think of one.

Oh well.

If you were into the original Kick-Ass, then you’ll love this movie. If you don’t like anything I’ve mentioned above, then seriously don’t see this movie. 

For example, if you’re my parents. They still don’t understand why I’d waste my time watching something like that…

Rating out of 100: 82

Movie Review: Pacific Rim

It's totally worth it.
It’s totally worth it.

If you like robots and monsters, then this is the movie for you.

This movie is Transformers meets Godzilla and the impressive part is that it’s better than both of those films by far (though lots of people are hoping that the new Godzilla movie scheduled for 2014 will be great).

Director Guillermo del Toro did a fantastic job creating a sci-fi flick that tons of people loved. Literally, I have heard nothing negative about this movie. 

But, I mean, when you compare this to the other sci-fi flicks people are getting… *cough*Sharknado*cough*, then, y’know, it’s not that big of a surprise that people love this.

The effects in this film are marvelous and although the movie could be a bit dark at times, it was never too difficult to understand what was going on when the giant robots called Jaegers, were fighting the enormous monsters known as Kaijus. 

There was also a bit of a different plot twist with this movie; the Kaijus were actually intelligent creatures that only appeared like stupid monsters that want to destroy mankind. Their intent was not simply to destroy the human race, but to also achieve what they wished for themselves. 

I suppose I found this interesting because there aren’t very many monsters movies where the monsters are coming out in thoughtful, planned out attack formations and no, this doesn’t count (see below).

The acting in the movie was good, with the main character Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hannam) turning out to be much better than I first expected him to be. The best acting easily came from Idris Elba, who played Stacker Pentecost. He did a fantastic job and really pulled the movie full circle. 

Raleigh’s partner, Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), also came across fairly strong. The scene where she has a staff-fight with Raleigh is by far one of the most fun and does a great job introducing her; before that scene she seems like just another wimpy girl who got saved from the horrors of war and became a mental wreck. 

However, with another Asian actor comes clichés. For example, when Mako and Raleigh are about to die entering the atmosphere with a pterodactyl-like Kaiju, she is the one who remembers that their Jaeger has a sword and uses it to save their lives and kill the Kaiju. 

But again, the reason to see this movie is the effects. The fights are huge, loud and mind-meltingly cool for not only sci-fi fans, but pretty much anyone with a level of testosterone that exceeds that of a small kitten. 

The movie is fast paced, never bores and keeps the viewer on the edge of their seat until the credits role. I myself had my eyes glued to the screen the entire time, which is something I can’t say for most films. 

This is easily, easily, one of the top five films of the summer. Definitely a must see, right up there with Star Trek: Into Darkness and Man of Steel

Take your boyfriend to see it. Take your girlfriend to see it. Take your dog to see it. 

But for the love of muffins, go see this movie.

Rating out of 100: 90

Movie Review: The Wolverine

Is it possible Hugh Jackman got even more ripped for this movie?
Is it possible Hugh Jackman got even more ripped for this movie?

If you’re a fan of the original X-Men trilogy, you may not want to read what I say next. Or maybe you will… Either way:

The Wolverine was the second best “X-Men” (I say, “X-Men”, because there was only one X-Man in Wolverine, unless you’re counting Jean Grey) movie I’ve ever seen.

It never felt slow, the acting was solid and everyone got to see their favourite tri-clawed vigilante slice random oncoming foes to shreds.

There wasn’t a single villain in the film; which usually would be a cause for concern. But I found that it actually worked out quite well for this one. There are two main villains and I suppose a couple sub-villains. But the two major ones are Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova) and Yashida (HalYamanouchi), who had his life saved by Wolverine back in World War II and is the grandfather of Mariko (Tao Okamoto).

The plot of the movie isn’t too deep (essentially a find out who the bad guy is and kill him type deal) but the way the director (James Mangold) went about this film, he didn’t make it seem overdone or disappointing. 

Hugh Jackman also added a lot to the flick, since he’s been Wolverine in every other X-Men movie; plus he’s a fantastic actor. His love interest also did a strong job in the acting department. Viper wasn’t exactly anything new as a villain, but she played her role and came across as believable. 

And kissing people to kill them was pretty…disturbing. So, extra points for that.

There were a few clichés, as in any film. A couple of the most noticeable ones were when Wolverine through an enemy over the edge of a balcony, who ended up landing in a pool far down below. When asked how he knew the pool was there, he replied, “I didn’t.” 

Also the fact that all of the Japanese people fought with “ancient” weapons; such as swords and bows.

Uh huh.

But the movie dished out what it promised to be and even a little bit more because the action scenes were fun and well done. Forcing Logan to lose his regenerative powers was also a unique idea that hadn’t been done in any other X-Men movie to date, so that gave resulted in boosting the intensity a bit, forcing you to wonder if Wolverine was actually going to die since he was now susceptible. 

I mean, usually, it’s, “Oh, he’s being attacked by fifty men with guns and swords! Holy crap, what if he – Oh, right. None of that is gonna hurt him. See ya, suckers”.

I would strongly recommend The Wolverine if only for the bonus scene after the credits. 

*Warning: Spoiler*

The moment that Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) wheeled his way over to Logan, the entire movie theatre I was in gasped and started freaking out. And I mean freaking out. The nerds in the place were literally shaking with excitement. 

And Magneto (Ian McKellen) was pretty neat too, but I think we all expected a return from him.

Fun movie. Action movie. Metal claws. Bone claws. 

Great stuff.

Rating out of 100: 77